Have you ever been in love? The feeling is magnificent, isn’t it? Unfortunately, we all know that it’s not just about unicorns and rainbows.
In real life, relationships don’t always work the way it does in movies or fairy tales. I’d say the same thing if I ever had the chance to talk to 15 year old me. Yes, there was a time in my life where I had a set of unrealistic views about love and relationships.
I was guilty of always pressuring an old boyfriend to buy me flowers and chocolates. Why not? That’s how the guys showed their devotion for their girlfriends in the movies. I always expected him to do everything I wanted and if not, it meant that he didn’t really love me.
It sounds ridiculous, right?
Great Relationships Aren’t Copied From Movies, We Make Them.
I was a fool to believe that the ideals portrayed in movies were actually realistic. It was baffling to me why it rarely happened in real life yet I was forgetting these were written that way. Movies are scripted and staged, it’s for entertainment and not a blueprint of what we should have in reality. Men don’t need to chase or woe us all the time and we can’t expect them to make a relationship great all on their own.
Relationships become great because of teamwork – the give and take, the open communication, understanding, support, respect and the list goes on. As women of the new millenium, shouldn’t we take it upon ourselves to make a relationship great on our own terms instead of waiting for the guy to make the moves? We have the power to create our own ideal relationships and here’s a fact that should motivate you:
Men are suckers for love.
I’ve crossed paths with different kinds of men in my life and most of them just want to be with a good girl who can make them feel secure and loved.
Behind a man’s tough exterior is a hopeless romantic who just wants to be with a girl that he can treat like a queen. If you are already lucky to find one who treats you right, don’t miss an opportunity to show him how much you adore him.
Here are some of the best ways to keep your man happy!
Love Tip #1 : Let Him Be Himself
One of the biggest mistakes women make is to try and change their men into someone they are not. You can help him improve for the better like changing the way he dresses up, but you should never ever try to change who he is. There are some instances in my past relationship where I tried to change the guy I was with. I wanted him to be more like this actor I saw on TV, I wanted him to stop joking around when we were discussing a serious topic and etc.
In my mind, I was making him a better person, but what I really did was treat him like a project. I made him feel like he was broken or there was something wrong with him. My mistake? I only loved the idea of what he could have become, but I didn’t love who he really was.
If he’s playful, he likes to joke around to make you smile or he’s a kid at heart, just let him be himself. Just like us, we only want to be loved accepted for who we are and it goes the same for men.
Love Tip #2 : Allow Him To Have His Own Thing Outside The Relationship
We all have passions and interests that makes us happy whenever we do them. Having hobbies helps us keep in touch with our individuality. Wouldn’t you hate it if your lover restricted you to do any of it? There are things you can do together, but it’s also healthy if allow him to enjoy himself and his time alone. My guy is so passionate about fishing! Every time he comes home, he always has the biggest smile on his face and he showers me with love because he missed me.
Giving him some “ME” time gives him room to miss you! So on the day that you have a scheduled alone time to do your thing outside of the relationship, you can expect a ton of hugs and kisses from him when he gets home.
Love Tip #3 : Compliment Him
If you are looking for ways to make your guy melt, complimenting him is one of the most effective gestures out there. Tell him stuff like he can do anything and you believe in him. You can thank him for his efforts and tell him he’s the best. Some of the classics that still work are telling him he’s sexy, he cooks great food or he always does a good job around the house. Little ways like this can make your guy happy and it won’t cost you a thing.
Love Tip #4 : Allow Him To Express His Love For You In His Own Way
Two people can be together, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that you have the same love language.
There are 5 languages of love:
- Words of affirmation – being vocal about your appreciation with your partner ex: compliments, saying i love you
- Acts of service – show love through actions ex: cooking, cleaning the house, etc.
- Giving and receiving gifts – they show love by giving gifts and they feel loved when they receive gifts.
- Quality time – spending time with you and giving you undivided attention.
- Physical touch – they show love through hugs, holding your hand, etc.
Just because you like receiving gifts, he doesn’t do it – it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. He may be showing it to you through other means like complimenting you or cooking for you. Just let him express his love the way he knows how. Don’t dictate him or pressure him because his natural ways of showing you is much more precious.
Love Tip #5 : Don’t Try To Control Him
This is another mistake women make in their relationships. We tend to control the person we love by restricting them to do things that don’t involve us. I am guilty of this! There was a time where I told an old boyfriend that he can’t hang out with his friends. I’ve controlled him too much that he no longer had an identity or a life. I expected him to exist for the sole purpose of pleasing me which was unfair and selfish. It was not long until everything went south!
Ladies, let’s refrain from controlling our men and telling them how they should show us their love, where they should go or who they should hang out with. I can’t stress enough how wrong this is and how disrespectful this is to our partners.
Love Tip # 6 : Don’t Pressure Him To Be Somebody He’s Not
This is the same as #1, let him be himself. Don’t pressure him to change into a version of himself according to your definition of great or perfect. If you don’t think he is wonderful as he is and he could be better if he assumes another personality, you’re going to make him miserable. None of us are perfect, but if you think he isn’t enough then he might be better in the hands of someone else. Don’t pressure him to change based on what is perfect for you. Accept him, his quirks, his flaws and all. You’ll make him happy and that gesture will make you happy, too.
Love Tip #7 : Support Him In His Endeavors
Whatever it is that he wants to pursue in his life, show him emotional and moral support. Tell him how much you believe in him and he can do whatever he sets his mind to. Having a supportive partner boosts your self esteem, right? Whether you are a man or a woman, you know that your support means a lot and if you show your support – you’ll help him succeed in his endeavors.
Gisele Bündchen once said, “the quality of our life depends on the quality of relationships we have.”
When you keep your man happy, you’ll be surprised of the outcome. Why? Like I always say, men are simple yet loving creatures. If you make your man feel secure, respected and loved, he’ll treat you the same way and he’ll give it back to you ten-fold.
Sharing a great relationship with the love of your life will not only improve the quality of your life, but it’ll also improve the quality of your relationship with you family, friends and yourself.
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